A year in full circle....

It occurred to me Saturday as I was getting ready to go meet friends for dinner, that it has been a full year since "the year of fog started". July 9, 2008 I went in for surgery after my miscarriage. I dont really want to dwell on the sadness of it, but I look back at all of the things I learned about myself and the firsts I had.

- I experienced my first personal tragedy. I have always been fortunate enough to say I have never lost anyone close in a tragic way. When my grandma died 5 years ago, It was hard, because we were close. She had been so sick though for over a year so we saw it coming.

-For the second time in my life I truly doubted the existence of God.

-For the second time in my life I truly doubted if God cared the way the christian community claims he does.

-I have always had a high metabolism, but I CAN be an emotional eater, and if you do it for long enough, IT WILL CATCH up with you :).

Im sure there are others I cant think of right now. I'm not glad it all happened, but I am glad to see God working with it and challenging me. If I hadn't had the opportunity to question the existence of God and his heart for us, I would not have had the opportunity to learn and have a sure answer for what I believe.

Its made me step back and look at all of the little phrases and nuances of "American Christianity" and challenge what is REALLY scripture based, what is man made, God Honoring tradition and what is merely man made, man honoring.

Its been interesting, and enlightening and very frustrating.

The good things that happened in the last year ( in chronological order):

-We bought a house

-We learned how much our family REALLY loves us because of all the work they put into the house alongside us.

- I acquired Layla, my permanent shadow and cuddle bug. We got her at the end of August. She was healing from 2 near death sicknesses she got as a puppy and I was just beginning to heal emotionally. It really was a great bond we built. I know she is just a dog, but seriously!



- I got really close with a dear friend that I had always had in my life, but never had the opportunity to really know on an adult to adult level.

-I found out the Thursday before Mothers day that I was pregnant.

-Some stuff with Justins job recently started picking up momentum. ( I cant go into detail, but expect a new CD release announcement pretty soon! Probably the best yet!)

-We saw our future son/daughter on a sonogram and even saw it wiggle

-I made it to week 14 and am "officially out of the critical stage". Anything could still go wrong, but we have some hope now that it wont!

- because I have "been there" I have the privileged of praying for a friend who is dealing with deep deep hurt to a much more intense degree than I ever did. ( cryptic I know, but I know what it means)

Im sure there is more I cant think of. Sometimes its good to list the good things you have. The bad seem pretty shadowed afterward.........