" A whole quiver full"

This week has been a week of God reminding me that I cannot run or close my heart to his teaching. I thought I was "finished" grieving over Elijah, and maybe I am, but I am not finished learning from the grief and loss. Let me clarify that I don't believe God made this happen so I could learn a lesson. Merely God is using what the consequence of a fallen world meant for bad, for good. Early on He surrounded me with his peace and presence and showed me His heart concerning my grief. He was right there, in the deepest part of my sorrow.

I receive daily emails from Greg Lauries ministry in Riverside California. I love his daily encouragement because he never makes it fluffy or over emotional. He always cuts through to the heart of the issues. Recently his son went home to Jesus after a tragic car accident. I'm sure the thought process of several people was "why would God do that to a man who loves Jesus so much?". Gregs staff made the decision to continue to daily email during Gregs time off by putting excerpts of his book "Why, God?". Through this i have had an opportunity to have MY "why" question answered. The whole time my prayer has been " Jesus, I love you and I know you have been with me through this- grieving right alongside me, and no matter your answer- I want to know why?, Why my baby?- why is miscarriage so prevalent?". His answer came through the 38th chapter of Job this past Monday:

(the excerpt from Greg Lauries book)

The Question "Why?"

Much of the book of Job is dedicated to asking the question "why?"

Toward the end of the book, beginning in chapter 38, God finally responds to His suffering servant. It's evident the Lord was getting tired of all the lame explanations offered by Job's unhelpful friends—and of Job's own complaints and questions.


"Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them." (vv. 2-3 NLT)


As God goes on speaking, He says in effect, "Excuse Me, but I guess I missed you when I was busy creating the universe. Were you there? I didn't notice you there." In this ironic sort of way, the Lord puts Job in his place and declares His own glory. At the bottom line, I think the book ends up by saying that Job really didn't need an explanation of life and all its perplexities.

What he needed was an encounter with God. What he needed was a fresh revelation of the Lord.

Why? Because when we see God for who He is, we will see our problems for what they are.

If we have a small God, we have big problems. But if we have a big God we have small problems (no matter how huge and overwhelming they may seem to us).

My answer was basically that God is mighty and powerful and see's the beginning of time through the end. He knows what will happen as the blessing out of this tragedy. He knows the healing that will happen in other areas of my life because of this (if you know me well enough- you know what areas those are). Isn't that what a relationship with him is about? Trusting Him to know what is best for his sons and daughters because He see's the big picture and we don't. Besides- how can I, in good conscience be selfish enough to want Elijah back from Jesus- when in reality he is so much better off than the rest of us? A dear friend was praying for us Monday and was lead to Psalm 127:
1 Unless the LORD builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;
Unless the LORD guards the city,
The watchman stays awake in vain.
2 It is vain for you to rise up early,
To sit up late,
To eat the bread of sorrows;
For so He gives His beloved sleep.

3 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.